Do You Know Who You Really Are?

בס"ד

I am reading/listening to Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis's book, "Life is a Test" and her first chapter is "Do you know who you really are"? As I think about it, my answer is NO.
If I knew who I really was then this issue of choosing a seminary to go to, would not be an issue!
Dovid said that Hashem sent him the two choices of schools so that he could really probe and figure out where he is holding. I am pretty sure that Tati is doing the same to me, except there is more than one choice on my table! Atleast if they were in somewhat of the same pool, it would be a big help, but all of these school are in different pools all together!!!! Oy.
Abba, please I beg of you, HELP.
I want this school to help me shape my hashkafa, but I just really dont know which Hashkafa is right for me. Where are you leading me Abba? Over the last two years I have seen and felt Chabad, Charedi, Dati Leumi, Modern Orthodox, Litvish, Yeshivish, a big spectrum of different hashkafot, and it has been a good learning experience but has left me very confused and overhwelmed. It is not like I was makereved by one of them and then stayed within that world. Nope, I have jumped around and seen it all and I still dont know who I am. I dont know who I am hashkafically and it is a lonely place to be in. Every school has a valid approach, every derech is valid, but knowing that does not really help me figure out what fits.
About an hour ago I was driving from the city to the valley down Coldwater Canyon, and at a certaing point it was closed down. Now for someone who does not know her way around the canyons so well and has a dead phone, this is a pretty scary situation. But Baruch Hashem there was someone standing as a gaurd and he gave me directions, simple, straight forward directions. Now even though I had never taken this road before and I was scared out of my mind, I still had those direction: go down Mullholand, make a left at Beverly Glen and that will take you to Ventura. Great, thank you sir!
I know that Tati was holding my hand a guiding my car down a dark and unkown twisty road and is the reason I got to safety..Are you doing that now Tati as well? Because I can not feel your hand. I can not feel your guidance. Every time I see a light, a see another one that shines brighter, but then it gets diminshed, sometimes there is more light and sometimes there is less, and I am kinda dizzy here Abba. I really truly need your help. I know that we have entered into the 9 days, and that this is generally not such a good time for us, but I also know that this is the month before Elul, and that you are giving us the opportunity to become over so closer to you, that you want us to come knocking on you Heavenly throne begging you to return your glory to earth. Tisha B'Av is a Moed, it is a meeting, it is a day like Yom Kippur, where we are called upon to achieve closeness to you through our Yira.
Abba, I am on what feels like a very dark and twisty road, please shed some light and help me go safely around the curves. Ema just reminded me that Chazal say that three things are earned only through great difficulty: Torah, Eretz Yisrael and Olam Haba. You are definitely making it difficult, and I know that you would not put this test in front of me if I could not handle it, if I did not have the inner strength to feel the road and pass the test, like I did earlier today...
Oy...I am sorry of this is a bit all over the place, but right now, so am I.